i have feel lonely since i was like... 3 yrs old..... maybe that was first i know what is NOT lonely that is why i feel lonely...

it is always like that, gougou's expression and singapore's weather always reflects my feeling accurately.... but that is the wonderful-ness of things that has wide meaning and u can interpret it all u want...

yeah this morning... a bright sunshine, went to training, realised all cca members to me are just friends, none are close.... went home, sky getting darker..... tot things would be better, tried to cook, failed, swallow up my failed food and threw away others so as to avoid explanations....

i just felt so lonely... this feeling never gets away.... maybe just a brief moment, but nv for one whole day... i think about every time of this year i will do something.... well afterall christmas is nearby... reminds me of loneliness even more....

and this thing i would do almost everytime of this year is, typing "i am lonely" on google search engine.... about every year different things come up.... this year, a website similar to facebook, with a group of more than 13k member called "I am lonely" showed up as the first search result.

everyone was lonely in there, some shared why they are lonely, some seek for cure, i just try to guess why i am lonely...

its night now... it is raining... just hoping this feeling gets away... ... ...

Cheers
Zach